Girls Horse Club Blog


Published by • Jan 26th, 2011 • Category: Critique Me!, Poetry

LOST is a submission for Critique Me!, an event where Girls Horse Club writers are inviting readers to critique their stories and poems with praise and/or constructive advice intended to help build confidence and improve writing/storytelling skills. Thanks in advance for your thoughtful insight!

by caroline, age 12

A dreaded scene,
A scream cut short.
A leap for life,
A life is lost.
Once a stallion,
Wild and strong,
His spirit was fire,
So now, among others,
He dies.

12 Nickers »

  1. Your poem is nice,short,and to the point.
    Great job Caroline!

  2. This is a short yet powerful poem. I am imagining a slaugher house.. with the silent screams of those captured wild souls. Sometimes the most simple is the most impacting.

    I can see the fear and hoplessness, and confusion reflected of the mustang’s eyes in your poem. It moves and it stirs…

  3. WOW!

  4. Wow. That was amazing. Keep writing stuff like this.

  5. I just got shivers from reading this. It’s a beautiful poem, but I feel sad for the poor horse! You put a lot of feeling into this poem, wonderful work!

  6. I love the poem! It tells exactly what the horse is feeling!

  7. Your poem really made me feel for the helpless stallion you created in the peice. Powerful work, caroline.

  8. Like Rochlia, I too got shivers from this poem. It’s very powerful and meaningful yet short. Your a great writer.

  9. this poem can only be exclaimed as: WOW! it was short and meaningful. i loved it!

  10. Thanks everybody for the nice comments! I feel awful for not being on in so long!

  11. i luv your poem its magnificent and wonderful

  12. That was wonderful and dramatic! And I agree with Luna Digro. It was short but you got to the point. Your such a great writer!☺☻☺☻