Girls Horse Club Blog


Published by • Sep 12th, 2009 • Category: 2009 Fiction Competition Winners

3RD PLACE, 13-17 Age Groupby Horseangel05 (Amanda), age 15

My eyes popped open in the darkness of my bedroom. Blackness surrounded me as I stared up at where I knew my ceiling was in the darkness. Before I could wonder what had awakened me from my slumber, I heard it again. A sharp persistent buzzer followed by a shrill alarm. Having lived in Georgia all of my life I was used to the frequent bad weather, and I knew exactly what it was. The weather alert radio.

I sat up in bed and strained to hear the radio. With my bedroom being upstairs and the radio being downstairs in the kitchen, it was difficult to hear but I could still make out what the broadcaster was saying.

“The National Weather Service of Peachtree City has issued a Tornado Warning for Jones and Monroe counties until 1am or later. If you are in this area, seek shelter immediately. A Tornado Warning means that strong rotation within the storm has been detected and a tornado could already be on the ground.”

The radio continued but I’d heard all I needed too. I lived in Jones County and I knew how deadly a tornado could be. Just last year a tornado had torn through a nearby trailer park, killing two people, and demolishing the trailer park.

I threw my covers aside, suddenly wide awake, threw some clothes on and ran down stairs as fast as I could. My mom was already up and clearing out the hall closet. Since we didn’t have a basement the safest place in case of a tornado was the hall closet, located in the middle of the house. My mom looked up at me as I came bounding through the house, making a dash for the back door.

“Wait! Where do you think you’re going, we’re under a Tornado Warning!”

“I know, but I left Snowflake in the barn. I have to go let her out in the pasture so if there is a tornado she at least has a chance!”

Before my mom could stop me, the backdoor closed behind me. The night air was eerily hot and humid as I thudded down the steps and ran across the yard toward the barn. Not a single breeze moved the trees as all was deathly silent. Not only was the night dark, as the moon hid behind ominous clouds, but aside from my pounding footsteps not a single creature made a sound. Not even the crickets chirped.

I reached the wooden barn where I kept my beloved horse, Snowflake, and thrust open the wooden doors. A soft nicker greeted me from inside the barn’s depths as Snowflake’s white head materialized from over her stall door. Wasting no time, I ran down the barn aisle to the front of Snowflake’s stall. The white mare stared at me with wide eyes. She could sense the dangerous storm outside as well as my uneasiness.

“I’m just gonna put you out in the field, girl. Just in case anything does happen you have a chance to run away. Anything’s better than being trapped in this barn.”

I grabbed a lead rope I’d left hanging on her stall door and clipped it to her halter. A slid the latch on the stall door and swung it open.

Snowflake stepped nervously out, ready to shy at the first sign of danger as she pricked her ears and listened intently to something I couldn’t hear. Suddenly Snowflake threw her head back almost jerking the lead rope from my hand. I tightened my grip and pulled her head back down in an effort to stop her from rearing in the barn.

And then I heard it. The unearthly wail that broke all silence. Like the noise of a thousand freight trains, getting louder and louder, all stillness was broken as a strong breeze blew through the barn. Fear touched something deep inside of me as I knew of only one thing that could make that noise. A tornado.

Without thinking I used a bale of hay to climb onto Snowflake’s bare back. Using the lead rope as reins I kicked the mare into a walk. Frightened as much as I, Snowflake had no interest in listening to me. Instead she broke into an uneven trot and pranced toward the front door of the barn. The wind grabbed the doors of the barn just as we reached them, and what I saw outside made every sense in my body tingle as shock set in.

Just past the pasture that I’d almost put Snowflake in, a dark black funnel dipped down out of the sky. It brushed the ground right over top of the pasture fence sending dirt and boards spiraling into the air forming a cloud of dust and debris at its base. The tornado grew in size as it whirled around the field snapping trees as if they were toothpicks.

The wind was now strong enough that it had reached the barn. Buckets, shovels, pitchforks, and even a wheelbarrow tumbled across the ground toward the black twister. Still frozen to the spot in shock and fear I stared at the tornado, somehow mesmerized by its power and strength. Snowflake, however had had enough. Snapping me from my daze she threw her head in the air, gave a loud cry, then took off. I clung to her neck as she galloped recklessly away from the tornado, probably saving my life.

As we galloped past the house I saw my mom standing on the porch waving at me hysterically. She obviously hadn’t noticed the dark funnel that had now turned toward the house. I knew I didn’t have a chance at stopping Snowflake with nothing more than a lead rope and halter so all I could do was holler at the top of my lungs as we galloped past, “Get back inside!!!”

I wasn’t sure if she heard me as we flew by, down the driveway, but as I looked back over my shoulder I saw her look in the direction from which we were running. Even from my bouncy fear-driven ride I could see the fear on her face as she saw the black funnel cloud. She looked once more at me, as I galloped away, before turning and running back into the house.

I turned my gaze to the tornado as I looked over my shoulder, just in time to see it reach the barn. Just as the solid wall of the twister reached the old barn the whole roof was lifted off as if it were the lightest thing in the world. I couldn’t watch so I turned my gaze at where Snowflake was taking me. As I tried to focus on anything except the terror that was behind us I couldn’t help but hear the horrendous groan and crackling as the rest of the barn was completely demolished.

Snowflake’s grey hooves flew across the driveway as we reached the road. She hesitated for just a second before turning to the right. Even though we were going faster than I had ever ridden before it still seemed as if we were moving in slow motion. The clip-clopping of Snowflake’s hooves were almost inaudible above the distant roar of the tornado.

Actually, I thought to myself, it doesn’t sound very distant. I looked back over my shoulder afraid of what I might see. I gulped as I wished I hadn’t looked. What I saw was the forest of trees alongside our driveway. I could see the tops of the trees being snapped one by one, like dominos as the tornado tore through the woods toward us.

“It’s following us?!!” I screamed out loud as I kicked Snowflake’s sides. We had to go faster.

I looked back once more to see the black wall of the tornado break through the trees and onto the asphalt road. It roared as if it were a living thing and fresh terror shot through my body. It was now even bigger and all I could see was a solid black wall full of wood splinters and pieces of the barn. The tornado spit out something large and metal, and as it crashed and tumbled across the road I recognized it as my dad’s plow.

My feet now beat a rhythm on Snowflake’s sides urging her to go faster. We had to be faster than the twister unless we wanted to end up like the barn. Snowflake’s hooves pounded the road as we thundered on. I knew the mare was tiring but we couldn’t stop.

As if it had unlimited strength the tornado picked up even more speed. It was gaining on us much faster now as we galloped on. I could see some of the debris flying past us as the distance between us and the wall of the tornado grew shorter. I guessed we were about than 300 yards away now and the distance was shortening.

I felt Snowflake slowing as I bent low against her back, and wondered why before I realized what was happening. The tornado was sucking her in! I looked back terrified to see that her back hooves were off the ground. The wind from the twister pulled us sideways as Snowflake fought against the power of the tornado.
“Come on, Snowflake! RUN!”

With a last burst of energy she shot forward. Her back hooves touched the ground once again but only for a second. It wasn’t enough. The twister was now far too close to us. Her legs lifted off the ground again as we were blown this way and that. I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know how close we were to the spiraling wall. We were too weak to outrun it. The tornado was too strong. I hugged Snowflake’s neck as I told her with my thoughts how much I loved her. The mare gave one last heart wrenching cry as I felt her body lifted completely off the ground. I clung to her neck as we spiraled backward through the air and into the swirling wall of the tornado.

* * * * * * * * * * *

My eyes popped open in the darkness of my bedroom. Sweat dripped from my forehead as I sat up in bed. I looked around, confused. I half expected to see the walls of the tornado, but instead I stared at the darkened walls of my bedroom. Had Snowflake, the tornado, the barn, my mom, everything; had it all been a dream? Reality sank in as I realized it was just a dream. Just a dream, I told myself, a terrible, horrible, nightmare. It had felt so real though. Even riding snowflake, being sucked into the tornado, and seeing the barn ripped apart had been so real. Hysterical joy bubbled inside of me as I realized it had all been a dream. Snowflake was fine and so was everything else.

My excitement was interrupted by a sharp buzzer. It was soon followed by a shrill alarm. My head spun with dizziness and my blood froze with fear as I listened to the all too familiar sound of the weather alert radio.

“The National Weather Service of Peachtree City has issued a Tornado Warning for Jones and Monroe counties…”


18 Nickers »

  1. I love your story. Uber-congrats!

  2. Fantastic story! Champion detail… i was on the edge of my saddle! lol =0)

  3. O…M…G!!!! Talk about suspense!!!!! lol

  4. That was so-o good!!!! Out of the three stories I think you should have won first!! It was so awesome and honestly i was about ready to cry. But I laughed at the twist in the end!!! So good! Great job girl!!! Yours was what Horsefeathers said. champion! :)

  5. Wow, this is good enough for 1st place!

  6. Thanks everyone! I’m glad you liked my story so much, lol! :)

  7. I wish there’ll be a sequel, the end sentence just got me thrilled all over again :D I have to applaud you on your descriptive language, I love how I can feel every frightened beat of the heart, every sprinting second until the grasps of the tornado. Excellent job!

  8. wow…im simply amazed..its AMAZING!!!
    so much detail!

  9. spooky! That was soooo good! I mean, like wow! wow, wow , wow!

  10. Wow! Your story had me on the edge of my computer chair, lol. Wonderful!!!!

  11. Have you ever wrote anything on GHC before? You really should!!!!

  12. Hey, that’s not fair! It was great though, plenty of details.

  13. whats not fair?

  14. I’m a little confused at the unfairness going around…?

  15. Hehe, thanks everyone. :) I feel like I have my own fan club. lol! And yes, I’ve written a few things on GHC before.
    I’ve written or am in the process of writing, 5 (chapter)books. (One is finished). One of them is a book of short horse stories called “Short Horse Tails”. “Tiwster” is one of 5 short stories I’ve written for that book so far. I just don’t usually publish them on here.

  16. omg that was good:)

  17. HorseAngel05, once the submission forms open up again, you should publish your finished chapter book on GHC if its about horses. I hope it is! I love horse stories…I also love horses. *giggles* go figure, right??? *laughs, falling on the floor*

  18. Love this story.Very mysterious.~LD