Girls Horse Club Blog

Without A Goodbye, Yet Always Loved

Published by • Feb 5th, 2009 • Category: Guest Bloggers, Non-Fiction, Tributes

by Whimsically, age 14

Although 2007 and 2008 were fun with my family, the happy memories were mixed with two very sad memories.

On Halloween 2007, my sister’s gelding was getting ready for a huge horse show. My sister wasn’t showing but we loaned a horse to a very seasoned rider who had a chance at winning the large horse final. The trainers closed the indoor arena doors and put away the jumps to allow the horse to run around a little and get some energy out. It was cold outside and the paddocks were muddy, so the arena was like an indoor paddock.

The gorgeous brown gelding ran around. He had a bad ankle and we knew this. Horses are so fragile, and he took one wrong step and broke his leg. To those who do not know, when a horse breaks a leg it is often fatal — much worse than when humans break their legs. It was on a Wednesday and I was at school. My sister was at the horse show to show in a different division. I came out of school and found out they had put him down to get rid of all the pain and misery.

Not long ago in December 2008, another nightmare took place. On a Friday after school I came to the car with my sister to drive to the barn to ride our horses. My mom informed me my trainer called and said my horse was acting slightly sick; she looked a bit drowsy. She informed me the vet had given her an vaccination to prevent a disease, and that it could be a side affect. To be safe, she informed me, they sent her to a clinic. The vet had thought she looked okay, but we didn’t want to risk anything.

Nervous, I thought of the option. The only thing that came to me was lime disease, but even that seemed unlikely. It was cold and there weren’t bugs around. No other horse had ever gotten bitten by a tick at my barn. Clinging on to hope, I went to bed hoping things wouldn’t get worse. Unfortunately, they did. A lot worse. I went to the barn the next morning and we had no news from the vet yet. The picture of my beautiful bay mare, her deep brown eyes and caring personality filled inside of me. She had to be okay. I had a lesson on two horses and then got on to flat one. In the midst of flatting my dad told me to come. I got off and had someone hold him. Walking into a lounge area, my mom and my trainer sat. They informed me of bad news. That morning she had not been able to get up, even with the help of vets. She had been so drowsy it seemed like she was on heavy tranquilizers. I thought bad news might be coming, but still had hope.

“They asked our permission to put her down,” my trainer’s clear but obviously sad voice said. My hope plummeted, the shock filling me, my body freezing and the tears forming in my eyes. We decided to put her down. Again, we wanted her to go to a better place knowing she was loved, not being in too much pain. It ended up she had an arterial aneurysm. It is hard to explain, but it is like a stroke. She was fine Friday morning, but put down Saturday by noon. Thoughts of possibly rabies and other diseases floated in our minds but she had no bites or marks and no horses had been sick or out of the barn since a month earlier. Luckily, we found out that because it had to do with her brain, she wasn’t in much pain if any. She was out of it, just feeling very sleepy.

Of course, the sadness fills me and my sister every day. However, they could have been in more pain. They died knowing they were loved, and now they are together, happy in Heaven. The pictures of them hang on our walls, and we each have a small tack box with their tack, name plates, ribbons, show numbers, strands of mane and tail and their sparkling silver shoes. The memory of them will always be in our minds, our love for them always in our hearts, the horse hair bracelets of their tail always on our wrists. And although they are gone from us, without a goodbye, they will always be loved.

7 Nickers »

  1. Wow! that is truely awsome

  2. When you described the feeling you had when you heard the bad news, thats exactly how I felt when I head my sister’s horses leg snap. !
    Was it insepholitus? (I think that how you spell it) Insepholitus is a disease or disorder of some sort thats like sleep apnea for horses. I don’t think there is a cure for it yet.:(
    Sorry for your loss! I’ll pray for you and your family!✠

  3. Good writing, im really sorry about your horse I know how it feels to loose someone or some animal

  4. this made me so sad!

  5. A very heartfelt blog, Whimsically. But a very good one too. I hope you and your sister are OK, and another thing-

    I am definitely, definitely sure that your horse (and your sister’s) are galloping around lush meadows, eating fresh grass, and looking at you from above this very moment. I can imagine them nickering and gracefully jumping fences.

    Good luck, and I can’t wait to read another blog of yours.


  6. Whimsically, you’re not alone in the feelings you feel.

    My horse died a week before we lost our house. There’s nothing like losing a horse. It hurts like you wouldn’t believe. How long did you have your horse? I had Lightning for only two years before he left me. I don’t know if it should make it better or worse… but we still don’t know how or why he got so sick. All I know is that he’ll always be loved, and in a way he’s still here. In my head and my heart he’s still here.

  7. Rachel:Have you tried going to to find out what happened to your horse? I’m not sure if you want to but if you do thats a good place to start.
    Sorry for your loss!